A Christmas Story:

A Christmas Story
Schwartz: Hey, smart-ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it’ll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya.
Flick: Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything?
Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That’s dumb!
Schwartz: That’s ’cause you know it’ll stick!
Flick: You’re full of it!
Schwartz: Oh yeah?
Flick: Yeah!
Schwartz: Well I double-DOG-dare ya!

NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a “triple dare you”? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.
Schwartz: I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!
Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!

Apply tongue here!

Apply tongue here!

Although filmed in 1983 reflective of a small Indiana town, it might as well been twenty years earlier with my Nonie’s backyard as the backdrop. This is back in the day when you had wringer washers.
Yup, the type that you fed the clothes through two rollers after pulling them out of the large attached drum.
Yup, the type that you easily could get your arm stuck in while not paying attention. Just for historical accuracy they had a RED emergency release that was suppose to pop the rollers apart just in case you got your fingers a bit to close…from experience I can tell you that it was neither fool proof or fail-safe release and would take you in up to the shoulder!

No clothes dryer in the early days, just two metal six foot “T” poles with four wire lines strung between and a cloth bag with plenty of wood clothes pins found in the backyard.
Metal was the key word in this configuration and paired with the icy Klamath winters you had a winning combination to create that painful entry into manhood without the goading of a good friend. All it took was a weak brain that urged you to “apply tongue here”.

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About oneheartonemind

Photojournalist,Picture Editor and Martial Artist View all posts by oneheartonemind

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